I shouldn’t be thinking about you.
I shouldn’t have our memories replaying in my brain.
I shouldn’t be smelling that pillow pet you gave me months ago.
I shouldn’t even have it on my bed.
I shouldn’t want you here with me.
I’m with someone else now.
I should be thinking about him.
I should be making memories with him.
I should be smelling his smell.
I should want him here with me.
But I don’t.
I don’t and I don’t know why.
Why are you doing this.
@2 days ago| Me: | I don't know honestly. I think it's impossible for me to think about my future. Like, when I try to think about it, I just see black. I don't see a future for me. |
| Nate: | Then we'll make one. Just you and me. |
| : | Won't you take my hand, and take my heart. Promise to never stop dancing once we start? |
Sometimes I get really angry when girls say they miss their boyfriends after not seeing them for a day or a few hours.
I don’t see or talk to mine every second of every day. I don’t get to hug or kiss them as often as I’d like. I don’t get to take cute pictures with mine or go on cute dates. I don’t get cute surprises on my doorstep or little notes sent in class. I can’t skip class just to spend time with him.
In fact, I’ll be lucky if I get a call from him every day. Or if I see him in person once a month. I’ve never even kissed mine. Instead of pictures I get little screenshots and our dates consist of taking pictures of where we are and sending them back and forth. And because of the time difference, I get cute little texts in the middle of the night.
Girls who see their boyfriends every week don’t know how lucky they have it. My boyfriend is almost 3,000 miles away. I haven’t seen him in a month and a half. You’ve never missed anyone until you’ve gone without them for so long. But that’s the thing. Missing someone is a part of loving them. If you’re never apart, you’ll never know how strong your love is.
@1 week ago
